Elementary Wiki
Elementary Wiki
S04E08-Interrogation of Craig Crissmond aka No
This page is a transcript for the episode "A Burden of Blood" from the fourth season of Elementary.

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, since when do we lock this door? So the bloodstains proved too stubborn for the dry cleaner. Gonna have to try measures more extreme.
Detective Bell: Hey. I didn't think I'd catch you here. Joan said you were at a meeting. I just returned a book she loaned me.
Holmes: She needed your help carrying it upstairs, did she?
Bell: Well, she was moving some furniture around. Needed a hand. Anyway I gotta run. That's a nice space suit.

Holmes: Do I sit on the bride's side or the groom's?
Joan Watson: Excuse me?
Holmes: Your upcoming nuptials with Detective Bell. I assume the workout which sent you to the shower foretells that happy day.
Watson: What are you talking about?
Holmes: I'm well aware you have an enlightened attitude when it comes to the hedonic arts, but Marcus is a cautious, conservative man when it comes to affairs of the heart. If he's embarked upon a physical relationship with a coworker, it must be that serious.
Watson: Marcus was here, I took a shower, so obviously, we are secret lovers.
Holmes: There's a timeworn piece of wisdom about dipping your pen in the company ink. Obviously, in this case, the pen is Detective Bell's, but you get my meaning. So it's as he said, he only came here to borrow your tennis racket?
Watson: Yeah, but I couldn't find it. Case closed.
Holmes: You're lying, and I don't know why. Unfortunately, a more pressing mystery demands my attention. The Captain requires our presence at a homicide in Queens. If you're not too spent, that is.

Captain Gregson: Victim's name is Ellen Jacobs. She picked up takeout from Half Moon Wok, Chinese restaurant behind us, at 8:00 p.m. At 10:00 p.m., the delivery guy noticed that the car was idling. He came over and discovered this.
Holmes: CSU should take extra care dusting for prints in the back. The attack occurred after she was belted in, so I think it's safe to assume the killer broke in, lay in wait behind her.
Watson: Wasn't a robbery. She's still wearing her jewelry. Purse hasn't been touched. I don't see a phone here, though.
Holmes: That's because she was holding it when the killer struck.
Watson: This place is dark but pretty exposed. Did canvassing turn up any witnesses?
Gregson: The restaurant says most of their business is delivery, so not a lot of people coming and going. The parking lot doesn't have any security cameras, so, all things considered, not a bad spot to get away with murder.
Holmes: Wouldn't give up hope of any witnesses just yet. The smudges on the screen gave away the most commonly used digits, and it's a short leap to her PIN number. Her last call was to "home" and lasted precisely three minutes. Three minutes, coincidentally, this is exactly how long an answering machine will record before hanging up.
Ellen (voice mail): Hi. You've reached the Jacobs. We're not here right now. Leave a message and we'll call you back.
Holmes: If Ms. Jacobs is remotely normal, she'll have used the same PIN number for other purposes in her life.
Voice mail: You have one new message. Press "1" to...first new message.
Ellen (recording): Hey, hon. Tried your cell. I guess you're out. Hope you're in the mood for Half Moon Wok, 'cause I just bought a ton. If you beat me home, maybe open a bottle...oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No! No!
Holmes: Lack of witnesses won't be a problem. They're us.

Ellen (recording): If you beat me home, maybe open a bottle...oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No!
Watson: Whoa, you moved. When I went to bed, you were all the way on the other side of the table. Bet that recording hasn't changed any more than your clothes have.
Holmes: It hasn't. But my perception of it has. Listen.
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No! No!
Holmes: Do you hear it?
Watson: I heard the same thing I heard the first hundred times. A woman who was terrified because her killer popped up from behind her.
Holmes: Accurate, obviously, but incomplete. Pay particular attention to Ellen's inflection as she transitions from "God" to "no."
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No. Stop it! No!
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No.
Watson: Wait, there's a little change there. Sounded like she was a little less afraid for a second. Almost like she recognized the guy.
Holmes: I believe, for a brief moment, perhaps before the killer made his move, Ellen Jacobs relaxed, as if she felt whoever was behind her wasn't a threat.
Watson: Okay. So you want to start with her work or home?
Holmes: Neither. And there's no time for coffee. Hawes is expecting us at the Morgue.

Dr. Eugene Hawes: Cause of death was no surprise. Suffocation. But the autopsy was eventful. I thought you two should take a look at the report and the mass spectrometer results.
Holmes: Traces of sodium thiosulfate in her lungs. It's a common chemical compound used for gold mining, leather tanning and water desalination. It's harmless enough to gargle with.
Hawes: Only that's not what happened here. There was more of the stuff in the plastic bag that smothered her. She probably sucked it in when she drew in her last breath. Anyway, that's not the main reason why I thought we should talk.
Watson: Ellen was eight weeks pregnant, and she shouldn't have been. She had a tubal ligation.
Hawes: From the look of the scarring, I'd say she had her tubes tied a long time ago.
Holmes: And it was never reversed?
Watson: Well, it's surprising but not impossible. One out of every 200 women gets pregnant after the procedure.
Holmes: Unexpected pregnancy is noteworthy, but it's not necessarily germane to our investigation. Eight weeks is early. She might not have even known herself.
Hawes: Oh, I think she did. There's elevated levels of folic acid and iron in her blood work. Pretty good bet she was taking prenatal vitamins.
Watson: So Ellen decided to keep a baby she never planned on having.
Hawes: Husbands have sent their wives down here for less.

Ernie Jacobs: I guess it seems strange, you know? Working on our house the day after...truth is, I don't know what to do with myself. Something wrong?
Watson: No, I just think you uh, spilled some paint thinner on your shirt. It's pretty strong.
Ernie: Sorry. Didn't notice. Ellen was so into this plan to remodel and flip the house. That's why I missed her call. I was on my way upstate to some salvage place, on a mission to pick up some antique doorknobs that she found online.
Holmes: Will the salvage yard be able to verify that?
Ernie: No. No, I hit traffic on my way up. By the time I got there, they were closed, and I had to turn around empty-handed. Thought Ellen would be pissed, but if you're asking me for an alibi, you must really have no idea who did this.
Watson: We were wondering how you felt about the pregnancy.
Ernie: The what?
Holmes: Your wife was almost two months pregnant, Mr. Jacobs, despite her tubal ligation. You didn't know, did you?
Ernie: No. I didn't.
Holmes: Did you know about the affair? You weren't the father, Mr. Jacobs. You couldn't have been. You're unable to grow facial hair, your musculature is underdeveloped, and your sense of smell is nonexistent, as evidenced by your imperviousness to paint thinner. You have Kallmann syndrome, do you not?
Watson: People with Kallmann syndrome don't go through puberty, and they can't have children without hormone replacement therapy and fertility treatments.
Holmes: You would be doing yourself and our investigation a great service if you could tell us the name of the man that Ellen was sleeping with.
Ernie: No. No way. This is bull. Ellen was not pregnant, and she wasn't having an affair. I'm the husband, so you think I did it. You're messing with me, and you want me to say something stupid.
Watson: We can show you the autopsy report, Mr. Jacobs.
Ernie: No. What you can do is leave. You want me to talk to you again? Make me. I'll bring my attorney. Now, get the hell off my porch.

Watson: Just because he didn't know about the pregnancy doesn't mean he didn't know about the affair.
Holmes: Cuckolds and murdered wives have a habit of going together.
Watson: Did you buy that story that he was looking for doorknobs last night?
Holmes: I have no opinion either way. Should be easy enough to confirm his story using traffic camera footage. In the meantime, why don't you pay a visit to the ob-gyn listed in Ellen's address book? If Mr. Jacobs is innocent, it might be the other man in Ellen's life who reacted negatively to the pregnancy.
Watson: Her doctor may know his name.

Ellen's Doctor: I'm sorry, but I don't see how I can help you.
Watson: You were Ellen's doctor, she talked to you.
Doctor: And everything she said is protected by doctor-patient confidentiality.
Watson: Right. But now it's a judgment call, because confidentiality isn't binding once a patient is deceased. At that point, a doctor can be more transparent, especially if you could help with a murder.
Doctor: Well, every doctor has his or her own ethical standards. These are mine.
Watson: Okay, so let's keep things simple. How long was Ellen a patient?
Doctor: Uh, she'd been in twice. I hardly knew her.
Watson: And was she excited about becoming a mother?
Doctor: In my impression? I think so.
Watson: What about the father? Was he excited?
Doctor: I wouldn't know. She came in alone.
Watson: Were you aware that her husband wasn't the father?
Doctor: I can't answer that.
Watson: It's important that we identify the real father so that we can figure out...
Doctor: Mrs. Jacobs didn't come here to discuss paternity. She came here to have a successful pregnancy. Is that all?
Nurse: I'm sorry. The Blue Cross people are back, and they're anxious to speak with you.
Doctor: Thanks, Deb. I'll be right there. I need to handle this. And I don't think there's much else to discuss.
Watson: I just have a few more questions. I can wait. It's no problem.

Holmes: I was mistaken. You don't know what my partner looks like naked.
Bell: Speak up, would you? I don't think the guys in the cell heard you.
Holmes: Why didn't you just tell me you were taking the sergeant's exam on Friday?
Bell: Joan told you she was helping me study?
Holmes: What do you think?
Bell: Think you saw the books on my desk just now.
Holmes: The explanation would have occurred to me sooner had I ever imagined you'd be willing to transfer out of Major Crimes. You are aware that your promotion will require you to oversee patrolmen for at least a year?
Bell: I'm aware.
Holmes: If you wanted help studying, why not just come to me? I'm a gifted instructor. Watson is living proof.
Bell: Look, you've been through a lot the last few months. I didn't want to bother you till I passed the test. If I pass. Been working a lot of OT lately. It's got me way behind on studying. That's why I asked Joan for help.
Holmes: It really is beneath you, Marcus, invoking my relapse to avoid the question.
Bell: It's the truth.
Holmes: Ah, it's not the whole truth, though, is it?
Bell: I don't want to hear the speech again, okay?
Holmes: What speech?
Bell: You know, the pep talk you gave me when I went to work for the Demographics Unit. "The only true police work is detective work, and you're betraying your talent and wasting your life."
Holmes: In that instance, you were mistaking a step backwards for a lateral move. Here, you're clearly going to advance. You have my full support. Anyway, I could always use friends in medium places.
Bell: Well, hey, as long as it helps you.
Holmes: I'm gonna talk to Watson. I'll let her know I'm taking over your tutelage.
Bell: Mmm, really not necessary.
Holmes (phone): Oh. Watson, I was just talking to your study buddy, future Sergeant Marcus Bell.
Watson (phone): He told you about the test?
Holmes (phone): Essentially. How was your visit with the doctor?
Watson (phone): Ellen's files were a bust. She never identified the baby's father. But I found something else. She gave the office a burner e-mail address. That was the only way they were supposed to contact her.
Holmes (phone): Possibly to keep the pregnancy secret from her husband. Send it to me. I'll give it to CCS so they can open the account.
Watson (phone): No need. She really did use the same password for everything. Now, there's not much here, Ellen was pretty good about deleting her correspondence, but I was able to find the last few e-mails she swapped with the baby's father. The two of them seemed pretty confident that Ernie was still in the dark about their affair.
Holmes (phone): Possibly, but I'm not willing to eliminate him as a suspect just yet. I couldn't find any traffic cam footage to corroborate his doorknob alibi. Do we know the other man's name?
Watson (phone): KeyMaster2020@odkermail.com.
Holmes (phone): Probably not his Christian name.
Watson (phone): No, but we might be able to get that soon enough. He and Ellen had set up their next liaison for the day after tomorrow.
Holmes (phone): Where?
Watson (phone): This is where it gets weird. They were going to meet at Sing Sing.

Guard: Yeah, here it is. Ellen Jacobs. Call came in at 2:05 on Monday. I remember this. Nice lady. Wanted to be put on the visitation list for Friday. I filled her in on the rules. She mentioned she might bring a friend. I said, "Okay, as long as he brings a photo I.D."
Watson: She didn't give you his name?
Guard: Uh-uh.
Warden: No, we don't require an advance list of all potential visitors. Sorry.
Holmes: At the very least, you must require visitors to declare who they're coming to see.
Warden: Of course.
Holmes: Harris Waylon Greer.
Warden: I take it you're both familiar with the Triborough Killer.
Holmes: Between 1986 and 1992, H.W. Greer strangled or suffocated 16 women in the Bronx, Queens and Manhattan.
Watson: Just like our victim.
Holmes: Given Greer's M.O. and hunting grounds, he would be at the top of our list of suspects were he not already within your walls.
Warden: Yeah, well, can't pick your family, huh?
Watson: What does that mean?
Warden: Your victim, Ellen Jacobs she's the Triborough Killer's daughter.

Greer: My poor Megan.
Watson: Megan?
Greer: Uh, that's the name her mother and I gave her. She changed it.
Holmes: After you became notorious for murdering 16 women?
Greer: I hadn't seen her since 1983. Wrote her a few times, but I never heard back, and then few days ago, I heard she wanted a visit. I was, I was counting the days.
Holmes: It's bizarre, isn't it? Her falling prey to your M.O. just days before her first-ever visit to see you.
Greer: You think I had something to do with it? I'm locked up 24-7. I don't call anyone. I don't write anyone. They have records on that kind of thing. You can check 'em. But you got the right idea. Might as well have been me that that put the bag over her face.
Watson: What do you mean?
Greer: It's in the Bible. Sins of the father will be visited upon the child. This is my fault.
Holmes: This must be what it felt like for the families of your victims.
Greer: I pay for my sins every day in this life, and I fear what's to come in the next. That is justice. My children dying, that's not.
Watson: You have more than one child?
Greer: Nolan, my son. He changed his name back then, just like she did, to Craig Crismond. Find him. Tell him I'm sorry. Please.

Craig Crismond: I can't believe he was worried about me. I guess I'm supposed to be touched.
Holmes: Well, for what it's worth, and perhaps it's worth very little, uh, your father appears to have changed. He's medicated and uh, remorseful.
Craig: Too bad he didn't find God and mood stabilizers 30 years ago. Sixteen people would still be alive.
Jennifer Crismond: Finding out Ellen had been killed was horrible enough. We didn't know it had anything to do with Craig's father.
Holmes: Well, given the killer's M.O., I would have thought the connection would have been quite apparent.
Craig: When Ernie called to break the news, he didn't get into the details.
Watson: Do you think he was trying to hide the connection?
Craig: No. No, he didn't know about our father. The fact that somebody suffocated Ellen with a bag wouldn't have meant anything to him.
Watson: So she didn't tell him that she was the daughter of a serial killer.
Craig: It's a secret we both got good at keeping a long time ago.
Holmes: When Greer was arrested, there was a backlash against your family?
Craig: My Mom got the worst of it. People didn't understand how she couldn't know. When we started getting death threats at the house, we moved away, changed our names. I only came back to New York a couple years ago.
Jennifer: Do you think we're in danger here?
Watson: We don't know. But our Captain's looking into having patrols here and at your workplaces.
Holmes: Have you noticed anyone lurking about or had any hang-up phone calls or or anything like that?
Craig: No. No, nothing like that. You? Look, it had to be somebody related to one of the women he killed. Right? A family member um, somebody who realized who Ellen really was.
Holmes: It seems that the killer was aware of her connection to your father. Whether or not that person is connected to one of the victims, very difficult to say.
Watson: Did you know Ellen was pregnant?
Craig: Uh, we found out yesterday. Ernie told us.
Holmes: Were you aware that he could not have been the father?
Craig: We knew about his condition, yeah.
Watson: We'd like to question the other man, but so far we haven't been able to identify him. Did you know about the affair?
Jennifer: No.
Holmes: What?
Craig: Um, it was about a month ago. Jen and I were in the city running some errands, and we saw Ellen walk into a restaurant with this guy.
Jennifer: We wondered if something was up, but we decided it was none of our business.
Watson: Can you describe the man?
Craig: We only saw him from the back. Tall guy. Dark hair.
Jennifer: But the place was called La Porte Blanche. Maybe someone there will remember him.

Holmes: During the course of that frisking, there were two deviations from recommended best practices. What were they? Need I remind you time is of the essence? Watson will be back from La Porte Blanche with the surveillance footage within the hour.
Bell: The Jacobs case, right? I notice you haven't asked me for any help with that.
Holmes: A matter of time. For now, Watson and I both agree that your studies should take priority. So, the two mistakes, what were they?
Bell: You reached into his pockets before you patted them. You can't search pockets unless you got probable cause there might be a weapon.
Holmes: And what else?
Bell: I don't know, man. Dummy groping isn't on the test.
Holmes: Are you serious about passing the sergeant's exam or not?
Bell: Course I am.
Holmes: You don't want to be a sergeant, do you?
Bell: FYI, this is why I went to Joan for help instead of you.
Holmes: If you didn't want the promotion, why are you taking the test?
Bell: You can never just drop anything, can you?
Holmes: Not one of my particular strengths, no.
Bell: The truth, not that it's any of your business, is that I need the money.
Holmes: Why?
Bell: My Mom lost her job. Two years shy of retirement, they pulled the rug out. Downsizing. She'll have to burn through her savings till her pension kicks in. Probably need a little help down the road, too. Anyway, promotion comes with a raise, so there it is.
Holmes: Why didn't you just say so? If you don't want to leave the rank of detective, don't. I'll give you a loan.
Bell: I appreciate that, but I'm not a charity case.
Holmes: No, I said a loan.
Bell: Sorry. I'm not taking money from a friend. Lunch is over. I got to get back to the office.
Holmes: And you're sure I can't help you?
Bell: You are helping me, remember? Both of you.

Holmes: Well, Mrs. Jacobs certainly seems taken with this gentleman. Does he ever show his face?
Watson: He does when he gets up, but then a waiter gets in his way. Otherwise, his back is to the camera the whole time. So how'd it go with Marcus today?
Holmes: Poorly. Seems he's less interested in a promotion than he is with the accompanying increase in salary.
Watson: Oh, so he just wants a raise?
Holmes: I gather he's as interested in playing scoutmaster to a group of patrolmen as I would be, but his mother recently lost her job, and he wants to help her out.
Watson: He didn't tell me.
Holmes: Well, he's a proud man, the detective. I offered him a loan, but wouldn't accept.
Watson: We're still gonna help him study?
Holmes: We are. Although I must admit, I have lost some enthusiasm. What's this?
Watson: It happens again around dessert. A girl and her friend approach. One dangles her keys while the other takes her picture.
Holmes: Perhaps he's a celebrity of some sort.
Watson: His e-mail address was "KeyMaster."
Holmes: Celebrity locksmith.
Watson: No, but if he is who I think he is, he does open a lot of doors. I've seen this pose before, we both have. He's the Jacobs' realtor.

Warren Clift: So I took her to lunch. I'll tell you what, I took her to dinner, too. I took her out almost as many times as I took her husband Ernie.
Holmes: The plot thickens.
Clift: I'm saying that meals with clients are part of the job. You got to wine and dine some people. That's how I convinced the Jacobs to sell their house.
Holmes: They didn't solicit you?
Clift: Their neighborhood is getting hot. It's about to take off, and uh, I have a lot of clients looking in that area, so I've been beating the bushes. I signed three new homeowners just last week.
Watson: We watched security footage from your dinner with Ellen at La Porte Blanche. Looked like you were talking about a lot more than just curb appeal and square footage.
Clift: Okay. I liked her. She was really warm, you know? She was sweet. Look, I feel terrible about what happened, but, listen, I'm a married man. I mean, Ellen and I, we never...it was just a little flirtation, that's all.
Holmes: You're lying. Do it again. Tell us where you were Monday night.
Clift: I was at home with my wife.
Holmes: I can't accept an alibi from anyone with that particular hairstyle.
Clift: That's my mother. What the hell are you getting at? Why would you think that I hurt Ellen?
Holmes: Because her pregnancy was about to blow your life apart.
Clift: She was pregnant?
Watson: Her husband is sterile, so I think you can guess what a paternity test would show.
Clift: Okay. Okay. I'll admit, there was more to it with me and Ellen. We...yes, we got together a few times. But just because I lied about that doesn't mean...look, I lied because I love my wife.
Watson: Did you kill Ellen because you love your wife?
Clift: You know what? We're done. I'm not answering any more questions without a lawyer.
Holmes: I think that's a wise choice, Mr. Clift. See you again very soon.

Watson: Putting Warren Clift in the center?
Holmes: He put himself in the center when he didn't use a condom with Ellen Jacobs. You don't agree?
Watson: Well, he seemed genuinely surprised to hear about the pregnancy.
Holmes: Perhaps he'd begun to worry she would expose their affair. Perhaps he thought a talking dog was commanding him to offer her spirit to the gods.
Watson: He didn't seem crazy to me.
Holmes: In my experience, a grown man who keeps a photograph of his mother on his desk at work is capable of anything.
Watson: Harris Waylon Greer suffocated women with plastic bags. Someone did the same thing to his daughter. It seems like we should be focusing on his victims' families. Hey, are you listening?
Holmes: Huh? Yes. And I think you're absolutely right.
Watson: Yeah, I don't hear that often enough.
Holmes: I also think that I'm right. Clift, I knew I heard that name before. Look.
Watson: That's the same photo that Warren Clift had on his desk.
Holmes: His mother, Triborough Killer's third victim, died in 1988. You'll recall, Mr. Clift approached the Jacobs about selling their home, not the other way around.
Watson: He had to know that Ellen was Greer's daughter.
Holmes: I suppose it's the classic romantic trope. Boy kills girl, girl's son pursues boy's daughter, his intentions entirely pure.
Watson: Purely homicidal, maybe.
Holmes: Do hope Mr. Clift has located his attorney, 'cause I'd really like to speak to him again.

Gregson: This guy's face is all over my neighborhood. Sells a lot of homes.
Bell: According to Joan, he has a lot of motives. Unwanted pregnancy, an affair being exposed, avenging his mother's murder.
Gregson: Well, this warrant turns up anything, those'll be the last keys he holds in his life.

Gregson: Hello, ma'am. My name is Tom Gregson. This is Detective Bell. We're here...
Receptionist: I know. I was expecting you.
Bell: You were?
Receptionist: Well, yeah. I want to help any way that I can. You're here looking for, I don't know, clues, right? Have you been to the hospital?
Gregson: Hospital? What hospital?
Receptionist: The one Warren was taken to. He got attacked outside one of our listings in Ditmas last night. Somebody beat him with a bat. Isn't that why you're here?

Watson: You're a lucky man.
Clift: Really? Someone almost caved my head in with a bat.
Watson: Basilar skull fracture, most of the time, something gets severed and you bleed out, but looks like you'll be fine.
Holmes: Perhaps now, Mr. Clift, you're finally ready to start telling the truth.
Clift: I told you, I didn't kill Ellen.
Holmes: You stalked her, you wriggled your way into her life. We know about your mother. We know that she was murdered by Harris Waylon Greer.
Gregson: That's the reason you killed her, right? You wanted him to feel everything you felt when you lost your Mom.
Clift: No.
Gregson: Mr. Clift...
Clift: All I wanted all I've ever wanted was to talk to him. Just look him in the eye and tell him what he did to me and to my family. Check with the prison, they'll tell you I've made dozens of requests for visitation.
Watson: So you were the mystery guest she was gonna bring with her when she went to see him this week.
Clift: You're right that I tracked her down. I wanted to get to know her before I told her who I was. And when I finally did tell her, she understood. The affair, it just happened. It wasn't part of some plan.
Holmes: The pregnancy was equally unplanned. Perhaps she threatened to tell your wife.
Clift: No, she never said a word to me, I swear. I didn't know she was pregnant until you told me. Look, what happened to me last night can't be just a coincidence. Someone killed Ellen three nights ago, and then, last night, they tried to kill me, the guy she was sleeping with?
Watson: You think it was her husband Ernie.
Clift: He found out about us, he killed her, he almost killed me.
Gregson: You told the police you didn't see the face of the guy who attacked you.
Clift: No, but do the math. Who else could it be?
Holmes: A moment outside.

Holmes: The chances that Mr. Jacobs attacked Mr. Clift are actually not that bad. See this crescent-shaped wound? It suggests he wasn't hit with a baseball bat, as he believes, but with a scaffolding pipe. Saw plenty of that lying around at Mr. Jacobs' home the other day.
Watson: Okay, say you're right. Say Ernie Jacobs did do this. Doesn't mean he killed Ellen.
Gregson: No, but I'd say it's worth having Marcus pay him a visit.

Bell: Do you understand these rights as I've read them to you?
Ernie: Yes, but you're making a mistake.
Bell: I think you're projecting, Ernie. You see that blood? You missed a spot. It was a cute idea, reattaching this section here when you were done beating on Warren Clift, but you should've cleaned it better. The lip of this connector left a distinctive mark. You might as well have signed your work.
Ernie: I rented this equipment. If that's blood, then it came from someplace else.
Bell: We got a witness who saw your truck speeding away from the scene last night. And you've heard of DNA, right? You think this blood isn't gonna be a match for Warren? Look on the bright side. If you hadn't have stopped when you did, you'd have to worry about two murder charges.
Ernie: Hey, listen! I didn't kill my wife. He's the bastard who did this! You can't blame me for wanting him dead.
Bell: Look, I'd be more inclined to believe you if you hadn't stood right here two days ago and swore to my colleagues you had no idea your wife was having an affair. Now, suddenly, you know just who to brain with a pipe?
Ernie: I didn't know until after they told me she was pregnant. Then I thought about who she'd been spending time with. It wasn't hard to figure out.
Bell: Look, either way, attacking Mr. Clift is gonna make it easy to get a warrant to search inside your home. You left any evidence you killed Ellen, we'll find it.

Watson: Hey.
Bell: Hey, your man Ernie is all booked and tucked away. But he won't talk without an attorney. His bail hearing's tomorrow.
Watson: You think there will be new charges filed against him by then?
Bell: Guy showed his true colors, right? He knew about his wife's affair. He's got a temper. Your partner's at the Jacobs' house?
Watson: Along with CSU. He's digging in for the night. He said he'd call if he finds anything. In the meantime, he wanted to make sure you're doing okay with your studies.
Bell: Oh, I'm up to uniform regulations. Did you know that between November 2 and April 30, it's the responsibility of the lieutenant platoon commander to authorize the wearing of the short sleeve uniform shirts whenever the temperature for a specific tour is expected to rise above 70 degrees Fahrenheit?
Watson: I did not know that.
Bell: But now that you do, it's exciting.
Watson: This is for you.
Bell: What is it?
Watson: It's a hypothetical case study that Sherlock and I put together. Your assignment is to lay out every procedural step necessary to locate and serve a subpoena to the reluctant witness in the file.
Bell: You realize most of this won't even be on the exam?
Watson: We don't believe in teaching to the test.
Bell: I don't know if I'd have time for this. I mean, the test is in two days.
Watson: Marcus, you trust us, right?
Bell: I trust you.
Watson: Okay, then take my word. This is everything you're gonna need.

Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No! Oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No! Oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No!
Watson: Hey, when did you get back from the Jacobs' house?
Holmes: Short while ago.
Watson: Was this Ellen's?
Holmes: It's her in the pictures. Only, back then, she was known as Megan.
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No!
Watson: Why are you still listening to that?
Holmes: I believe I know who killed Ellen Jacobs. To my great surprise, it was not her husband or her lover. But it was someone she trusted a great deal.
Watson: Who?
Holmes: We're taught early on that no means no. But the first time Ellen says it on this recording, she means something else.
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No!
Holmes: This is Ellen and her brother, Craig Crismond, in a simpler time. Before they felt compelled to change their names. She was Megan. He was Nolan. There's an inscription on the back.
Watson: "Me and No, Christmas '91."
Holmes: "No." Her nickname for Nolan.
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No!
Watson: The first No. She saw him in the backseat. She was saying his name.

Craig: You guys cleaning your aquarium?
Watson: Actually, the precinct doesn't have an aquarium. We bought those this morning. We went to the same store where you get your koi, as a matter of fact. Koi and goldfish are close cousins. They're both freshwater fish. The clerk at the store put a few drops of dechlorinator in the water. He had to. Otherwise, the chlorine from the tap water would burn their gills. Sodium thiosulfate is good for their respiratory system.
Holmes: Same cannot be said for human beings.
Craig: I thought we were here to talk about Ernie.
Gregson: Mr. Crismond, would it surprise you that the M.E. found traces of sodium thiosulfate in your sister's lungs?
Watson: It came from the bag you used to suffocate her. She inhaled it with her last few breaths.
Craig: First, you thought Ernie killed Ellen. Then it was that piece of garbage she was having an affair with. Now it's me?
Holmes: Now it's you. We know you killed her. We don't know why. So we thought you might appreciate this time to enlighten us.
Craig: Uh, someone used a bag like that one to kill Ellen. That store you went to sells hundreds of fish a year, maybe thousands.
Watson: You're right. Lots of people buy fish there. But only one person had a spare key to Ellen's car.
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No! No!
Holmes: Before Ellen died, she left a message on her home phone, but you know this, of course, 'cause you were there.
Gregson: We know the killer was lying in wait in the backseat. No sign of forced entry. But then again, that makes sense. Because you used your own key.
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No! No!
Would you please stop that? Is it difficult to hear her saying your name?
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No. Stop it! No! No! No!
Holmes: She saw you, Craig. Or can I call you "No"? She saw you, No.
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No.
Craig: Could you turn it off?
Ellen (recording): Stop it! No! No! No!
Holmes: Can you imagine hearing this over and over again in court?
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No. Stop it!
Holmes: Can you imagine?
Ellen (recording): No! No! No!
Holmes: Your own sister just, just begging you not to kill her.
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No.
Holmes: You changed your name, but you didn't really change who you are, did you?
Ellen (recording): Stop it! No! No! No!
Holmes: You're Nolan Greer. You're your father's son.
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No.
Craig: I am nothing like him!
Ellen (recording): Stop it! No! No! No!
Holmes: No, he killed complete strangers. You killed your own sister.
Craig: Stop it!
Holmes: She asked you to stop over and over again! She asked you stop, stop, stop, but you didn't!
Ellen (recording): Oh, my God. No. Stop it!
Craig: We had a deal. He was a monster. And he was a part of us. We were a part of him. And we couldn't change that, but we could make sure that the line ended with us.
Watson: You have two children.
Craig: No, I don't. Jennifer and I adopted. I had a vasectomy 20 years ago. Megan...Ellen, she had her tubes tied. Then last month, she told me what had happened. She was pregnant. She was gonna she was gonna keep it.
Gregson: So you killed her?
Craig: We had a deal.

Bell: I miss something? You already close another case?
Holmes: As a matter of fact, Detective, you did. That's Rollo Bastain from the case study that we assigned you. He was exactly where you said he would be. Silver Bells Bowling in Dongan Hills.
Bell: My report was about a missing witness named Didier McDiaz. He was fictional.
Holmes: You were misled by Watson and myself. McDiaz is Rollo Bastain. Not a recalcitrant witness, but a wanted fugitive bail jumper.
Bell: All that information in the file Joan gave me?
Holmes: Names were changed to protect the guilty. The rest was accurate. You should know that we so trust your skill, we didn't even check your work. It's for you.
Bell: Check for 36 grand?
Holmes: Mr. Bastain has a $40,000 bounty on his head.
Bell: Holmes...
Holmes: I know that you're forbidden from accepting money from bringing a fugitive to justice. Your mother, however, is not. Check's made out to her.
Bell: So, you said the bounty is for 40. Why is Mom only getting 36?
Holmes: Out of respect for your strong feelings towards charity, I'm taking a ten percent finder's fee. All right, I got to go. Gotta find the right bleach to get some blood out of my space suit. Any ideas?
Bell: Good luck.
Holmes: Yeah, good luck to you, too. If you still want to be a sergeant.